Refusing the Gift
Refusing the Gift
Sometimes people come to us offering gifts that are just lovely, beautifully packaged and full of loving intention. There are also those that bring in gifts that are downright terrible. They look and feel awful and are loaded with ill will and disrespect.
These are the gifts that you can and should refuse to accept and simply return to the sender.
Why do I call these undesirable offerings a gift? Because it gives you the opportunity to define clear boundaries. To hold self-respect and self-protection first and foremost.
I created the Medicine Doll aptly named ‘Refusing the Gift’ during the summer of 2020 as a way to work through a process of receiving very direct negative energy that felt toxic and harmful.
I have a few extended family members that I’ve instinctually kept my distance with. They don’t really know me very well and I’ve been good with that. That is, until they ganged up and decided to make me the scapegoat for their avoidance of personal responsibility in a situation that came up.
Apparently, I seemed like an easy target. There was verbal abuse, shaming, blaming, yelling and threats to my safety. It never occurred to them to actually communicate and attempt resolution or understanding. I think most of us have encountered a similar experience.
I initially felt frightened, shaken and unsafe and sat with that for a little while. Not running or numbing out, not reacting, but rather just sitting quietly, breathing and feeling into my body. Just allowing what was happening in the moment to be acknowledged and seen.
Then I got up and did what I know how to do to protect myself.
I sent the gift right on back. Unopened and unaccepted. Self-esteem fully intact.
I recognized that it was their shit, not mine. Their actions, words and threats were mirroring their own reflection of value and self-worth. I do not ever have to take that on. It’s not mine to take.
I channeled that refusal through the creation of the Medicine Doll who now holds self-empowering protection energy for whomever needs her. My boundary and protection setting included blocking access to me and disconnecting with no further response.
I know for sure that had I accepted that harmful offering, my heart would have become dark and filled with anger and pain. It most likely would have made me sick and overcome with emotion. I could have easily become triggered and behaved inappropriately. Accepting that gift would have simply been way too high a price to pay on devaluing my own self-worth.
If someone gives you the gift of anger, resentment, shame or blame, it really is up to you to decide whether or not to accept that gift. ‘No thank you’ is an empowering statement.
Please visit my current offerings for a detailed description of the personal power energy ‘Refusing the Gift’ holds within her container.
I love working with women who seek personal empowerment and authenticity by incorporating a feminine, spiritual worldview that reflects and affirms embracing her true self.
Women need and long for a deeper spiritual connection to the Divine Mother Earth.
My work as a nature and spirit artist and communal workshop leader encourages women to step into a journey that will take her deeper into her herself to acknowledge, heal and transform those things that linger in the shadow and hold her back. She hears the call and knows when she is ready.
